I celebrate every milestone in my child's life, the first time it snowed she said "bubbles" & it is written down in her baby book along with a thousand other "firsts". Don't diminish our excitement or the way we feel when our "neurotypical children" have accomplishments-any parent of any child is proud & excited. I love & support my friends with autistic or otherwise challenged children, With autism being so prevalent today we all know someone. I was recently sent an article that said "don't talk about your child's accomplishments"-really? A friendship is based on good times & bad times. I am your child's biggest cheerleader, attend every event I can to help raise money, walk in walks, wear t shirts, make Facebook posts, bother my coworkers, open my own wallet - but here is the thing - please allow me & join with me to celebrate my child's accomplishments - because they still work hard to get on the honor roll, practice their instruments to do well in the concert & as their mother I'm allowed to feel good about that-not in contrast to your child-but simply because they are my child. As my friend you need to find a way to be happy for me & celebrate with me. Yes I know it is different & I get that your child's milestones are different than my child's-but as my friend I need you to feel good for me too-life is challenging for everyone-more for you without a doubt-but I still face challenges as a single mother & my child's accomplishments are just as important to me.

Actually Robin you are very wrong. I have a brother that has 2 out of 3 children that are autistic and a best friend with an autistic child and yes I see and know what the struggles are only too well. My point was it has been said - and clearly so by this father " Well, other times I hate their guts, but that is a character flaw that I am working on " that we should not discuss out children with them. I was sent an article by a friend who is also the mother of an autistic child that said do not discuss my child's accomplishments because parents of autistic children do not want to hear them. I was responding to this and his hating our guts - I get it - I really do. It is challenging in ways I will never know but I am still allowed to celebrate my child and resent being told not to. Having 2 nephews I certainly see and experience the devastating effects of this disease as well as support my brother and my girlfriend in anyway I can.

Hi Ladies! Thank you for taking the time to read my post and share your opinions! Amber, I fear that my attempt at humor with the "hate their guts" line missed the mark for you. I apologize that I was not able to better communicate my feelings. If you notice, there is a "wink" symbol at the end of the sentence to convey that it was written tongue-in-cheek. I really don't hate neurotypical parents (well, sometimes I do... See, there I go again! ; ). You make valid points about not feeling guilty sharing your child's accomplishments. I agree 100%. We celebrate the milestones of our friends and family too. Yes, sometimes the ugly monster of self-pity and envy creeps into our heads, but as I said, that is a character flaw that we need to work on, not your responsibility at all. My simple message was one of gratitude and excitement for all of life's little milestones. I sincerely hoped to inspire a few neurotypical parents to celebrate the tiny victories in their child's life more and not take one second for granted. I am sorry if my tone and message was not better communicated. I'm still new at this blogging thing!

Jerry I was just expressing my feelings that your blog and others evoked in me - I have the utmost respect and empathy for your daily struggles. I enjoy your blogs and thank you for respecting my opinion as well!

Amber, I can certainly feel your passion in your comments and I appreciate your point of view. One point of contention though, Autism is a diagnosis and not a disease. It is not contagious and can't be caught or cured like the common cold. I have an 8 year old with Autism and he is thriving, despite his diagnosis, because of some amazing therapies that help him with the symptoms of Autism. One of my favorite milestones to date is my son being told to stop talking to his friends in class because it wasn't time to be social it was time to listen!!! It is all an amazing matter of perspective that gets me though the day and makes me smile.

Amber,
Again, you don't actually know and you can't know unless you experience it. It's like the old my friend has a baby so I know what it's like to have a baby or I know how it feels to take care of a baby because I babysit, but yes I guess you are entitled to think you know and being I also have a typically developing 7 year old I have and always will celebrate her milestones. The fact my 12 year old boy has difficulties doesn't diminish her acheivements and as Jerry pointed out it was tounge in cheek and certainly wasn't meant to offend.

I feel like we have missed the point here. One of the most difficult things for kids with Autism to achieve is empathy. Empathy is the ability to put oneself into another person’s shoes and experience what they experience. I don't have Autism but I can certainly empathize with my autistic sons difficulties and manipulate the environment so that he can be successful. I believe that someone with or without children can empathize with those of us who do have children, neuro-typical or otherwise. Empathy gives us that ability and I appreciate everyone who takes the time to dream about what is must be like to be me. Thank you again Amber and Robin for your personal perspectives and I know that the world is changed by people with passion for common goals.