This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

Rejection Therapy for Your Job Search?


Last year, I read an article in BusinessWeek about a guy who subjected himself to 100 Days of Rejection Therapy.  Jia Jiang was starting his own business.  A self-described “sensitive person,” Jiang was devastated by being rejected over and over when seeking financing for his company.  So he decided to toughen himself up by scheduling a series of daily high probability rejection tasks: borrowing $100 dollars from a stranger; asking to speak on a Costco intercom; requesting to be a live mannequin at Abercrombie.  On top of it all, he documented it all and posted his Rejection Therapy project on a website for the world to see (http://www.entresting.com/blog/100-days-of-rejection-therapy).  Jiang claimed that his goal was to desensitize himself from the pain of rejection and overcome his fear.

 

Reading this article brought to mind the relentless rejection of a 21st century job search: online resumes going into a black whole-- or attending a series of interviews and never hearing back from the potential employer.  There are techniques you can learn to lessen the odds of being rejected with utterly no response or explanation— such as targeted use of your resume or sending thank-you notes.  Nonetheless, the odds of rejection are still high (considering the approximately 17 applicants to one job ratio), and one of the hardest things job seekers cope with is the endless series of inevitable rejections—no matter how positive a frame of mind they try to keep.  Perhaps the most difficult of all is the silent rejection— the lack or a “ding” letter, or any kind of response.

Find out what's happening in Middletownwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

 

Jiang’s project harkened me back to a time in my life, just after college, when I considered being a writer instead of getting a “real job.”  My father, who came here from Europe, wanted to me to live the American Dream and become a professional.  He put pressure on me NOT to be a writer.  In a way, though, I was relieved not to take that route in life.  Everyone knows an artist’s life is riddled with rejection—even if she or he eventually achieves success.  The groundbreaking book To Kill a Mockingbird, which will soon celebrate 55 years since its first publication, was turned down repeatedly by publishers.  Maus, credited as the first mainstream graphic novel, was shunned by the publishing industry almost 25 years ago.  Because I was a responsible twenty-two year old, I listened to my father and thought: what do I need the anguish of rejection for?  Why not just get a steady job and enjoy my life?

Find out what's happening in Middletownwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

 

When I think of the worst possible case of professional rejection, what comes to mind is the stereotypical image of an actor or dancer auditioning for a Broadway show.  The performer exposes all his or her vulnerabilities in person, up on stage.  At the conclusion on the performance, the director looks away from the performer and calls “next!”  There is no “Sorry, but we can’t use you this time.” No.  It’s just “Next!”  Is that the same or worse than receiving no response after three interviews with a company?  I always wonder what kind a personality it takes to pursue a career of ultimate rejection.  Are artists remarkable tough, tragically self-confident, or even a touch sociopathic— believing, no matter what anyone else says, that they deserve recognition?  Was I sane to try to avoid that life of rejection, or just a wuss?

 

It’s hard to contemplate that trying to get a full-time permanent job may be as competitive these days as vying for the publication of a novel by a major publishing house, or trying to get a coveted role in a Broadway show.  And yet, based on what I see working in job and career transition, it may not be far off the mark.  Which gets me back to Mr. Jiang.  I would never compare a self-improvement (and no doubt self-marketing) project to looking for work in this economy, but there’s something to be said for tackling rejection.  Jiang says he has learned that rejection isn’t a problem can be avoided or outgrown—so whether we are looking for our name on a published page or up in lights, or even a steady paycheck, it’s good to learn that in some situations, it just doesn’t matter what anyone else says— or doesn’t say.



We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?