Middletown Mom, Grandma Mentors Moms' Group

It's 9 a.m on a recent Thursday and a steady stream of women filters into the basement of Tower Hill Church in Red Bank. And though this is a house of worship upstairs, these women are looking for a different kind of sanctuary.

Ducking out of the rain, with diaper bags, strollers and children in tow, mom after mom comes through the basement doors and is greeted by a smile and a "Hey, I'm so glad you made it."

They're here for a twice monthly meeting of the group Mothers of Preschoolers or MOPS, for short. Like "Cheers," everybody here knows your name, and if you're a mom who's too tired to remember her own name, they'll supply you with a nametag, childcare, a cup of coffee and two hours of blissful adult conversation.

By the time 9:30 a.m. rolls around, all the preschoolers who tagged along this morning are safely in the arms of caregivers of upstairs. The volunteers who give their time to rock babies, sing songs and teach lessons to bouncy four-year-olds are all background-checked by the church. But most of these men and women are grandparents too — that's some extra mommy street cred.

Those weary moms, about 40 in total, now perked up by coffee and a spread of bagels, fruit and baked goodies, settle down at tables in groups to listen to Carol Andrews of . Mother of two and grandmother of six, Andrews is the mentor mom of the group.

Each meeting she gives the women a lesson on living with kids. With titles like, "How to have a lot with a little" or "How to raise a juvenile delinquent," Andrews' talks are funny and lighthearted, with concrete advice on how to raise kids, thrive in marriage and grow in faith.

Teresa Benosky, of Long Branch, who is mom to Jake, 6, and owner of Spa Du Jour in Shrewsbury, said that when she first came to MOPS last year she did so reluctantly, as a busy mom, knowing hardly anyone. 

"I saw a lot of educated professional women. It's a huge mix of women sharing. That made me a little more confident when I saw they were facing similiar challenges," Benosky said.

While the group is predominantly made up of moms at home with their kids full-time, it's not hard to find moms doing double duty as a nurse, writer, teacher, engineer, blogger, charity volunteer and so on. Members of MOPS in Red Bank hail from all over the Two River area, up to Holmdel and down to Long Branch, some by way of South Africa, Japan, Australia or France.

Benosky said just being around other women who were honest about their struggles as a mom or a wife helped her take a look at her own issues. And listening to Andrews' talks over the last year, she said, caused her to dig deep in her life, spiritually.

"This is real talk," Benosky said. "You have to be open to that. Some of those talks hit home ... You'd pay money to listen to lectures, or therapy, and here it is, available to you for free or a small donation."

Moms have the option of paying a small membership fee to MOPS, an international Christian faith-based organization. At meetings the women are asked to give a $5 dues to cover the costs of the group, some of which is donated back to the church which hosts the group for free.

Moms who attend don't need to subscribe to any religious ethic, but all the talks are drawn from the group's mission: "To meet the needs of every mom, to the glory of Jesus Christ."

MOPS also runs events for moms outside of the meetings, book club, playgroups, outings like apple picking with kids or Christmas wreath-making for moms.

But the draw for moms is usually just getting to talk to someone else with spit-up on her shoulder, who gets life with a baby or toddler, or both.

"It's real women getting together and finding a better way to live," Benosky said. 

The next meeting will be Nov. 17 from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. at Tower Hill Church in Red Bank. For more information about MOPS, visit their Facebook page or call Carol Andrews at 732-671-0553.