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Learning That Penguins are Birds on This Week's Jersey Shore

The cast goes to Staten Island, Jenkinson's and — big surprise — Karma, and it all comes down to some suspenseful text messages.

This week's episode found the love 'em or hate 'em cast of MTV's Jersey Shore in two states: New Jersey and New York. And lots of emotional states.

It was a road trip to Staten Island where Pauly and Vinny join in on one of their epic family feasts. DJ Pauly learns that Staten Island is...actually...an island. Who knew. We know this, because you have to go over a bridge. Yep, that's all it takes.

Meanwhile the rest of the house goes GTL leaving the Situation home all alone with the doggies (I guess he doesn't need to workout or tan his hide, and all his clothes are clean? Or maybe he's just MIA this season). The dogs make a huge mess of the house as he makes it look like they broke out of their pen and got into the garbage. It. Was. Nasty. However, the girls peg it on the Situation because, obviously, the dogs smell like his cologne. I'm not sure who that is more of an insult to, the dogs or the Situation.

Vinny finally decides to partake in the T part of GTL, and try a spray tan at Simply Sun Tanning. They have three locations in town and it looks like they went to the original one in the Seacourt Pavilion, on Bay and Hooper avenues.

I've never stepped foot in Simply Sun, or any tanning salon, for that matter. I'm sure they are wonderful places where the staff pamper you but I particularly think it's pointless since the free version involves laying in the sun, which is a staple activity considering it is summer. I guess if you're looking pasty in the winter this might be a better idea.

Obviously I don't subscribe to these activities with my Wonder Bread complexion, but Toms River has its share of tanning salons to spare. Sometimes it seems like every strip mall in town has one.

Everyone heads off to Jenkinson's in Point Pleasant Beach as a change of scenery from Seaside. However the scenery is not that good, as the ladies encounter some male grenades. At the Aquarium's penguin exhibit, Ronnie and Sammi are confused over what type of animal a penguin is. Turns out, penguins are in the bird family. Lots of learning going on in this episode, apparently.

What we're all trying to learn the most, however, is who Sammi texted in her days after breaking up with Ronnie. Particularly dramatic since Sammi and Ron are back together. So now it's time for the real show to begin. As Pauly says, grab some popcorn and let's watch this movie.

But we all know how it ends. The Situation may have started trouble by bringing the text messages to everyone's attention, and what ensues is a blame game between Sammi and Ronnie.

Yelling, crying, getting in each other's faces — does this sound familiar? It's the same old Ronnie and Sammi.

Their fellow housemates, sitting watching it all, are exasperated. And it's safe to say, the viewers at home are too.

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