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The Gay Marriage Question: No Answer

Who's making less of what now?

Two weeks ago in this column I commented on same-sex marriage. The topic of the column was the pursuit of an answer to a question that remains unanswered.

The question (put to those who say that marriage equality will "make less" of their heterosexual marriage) is, "Okay, what does marriage equality for all citizens of this country/state say about your marriage?"

Prior to writing that column I had never been given an explanation. Two weeks after writing the column I still don’t have an answer. Oh, I heard from many, many people. Interestingly, the majority of people that I heard from were supportive of marriage equality.

Yet I heard from dozens who are adamantly against it. Some, who sent their emails directly to my email address choosing not to post on the PATCH site, were not always so nice and occasionally vile. But, as I continually state in this column, THIS IS AMERICA AND CAN WE CAN SAY ANYTHING WE WANT. Yahoo!

I was told ... 

"The act of homosexuality is an abomination and sin many times over."

"Why do you feel entitled to enjoy the benefits of marriage when you have proclaimed the basis for this marriage is based on being a homosexual? Why should everyone be forced to confer legitimacy on that which is historically against human nature? You are completely free to live your life as you see fit; but don't try and proclaim that everyone must accept your definition of what normal is. Have a really great day, unless you have made other plans!"

"May you know no peace in this life."

"At the end of every speech that an American president makes he says, ‘God Bless the United States of America’.  The law of this land is that God rules here and not the deviants who support homosexuality."

"A pox on you and your house!"

"You and all like you will burn in hell for eternity."

Aside from nasty comments and quotes from the Bible, no one ever answered the question.  Several supporters of separation of church and state and/or marriage equality did contradict the statement that marriage equality will compromise anyone else’s marriage -

"As far as I can determine, no one has ever come up with a valid reason to oppose same sex marriage. First, all religious arguments are invalid. We have separation of church & state, so what the bible or any other religious document says must not be considered. Religious institutions can make any rules they want for their members, but they cannot affect others, so no one should even bring them up.

"Second, whatever anyone else, gay or straight, does in their marriage has no affect whatever on my marriage. Third, the institution of marriage is under attack by many factors, such as divorce, cohabitation etc. Gay marriage is not one of them.

"Endowed by the Almighty with certain INALIENABLE RIGHTS means that those rights should NEVER be put up for a vote to be taken away. Those rights include the pursuit of happiness AND equal protection under the law. If my heart leads me to another man or another woman, then that is my brand of happiness, harming no other in the process."

"Homosexual marriage does not interfere, or remove, my rights to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness; thus it should be legalized."

"I simply do not understand the 'Christian' attitude toward gay marriage. If God made us all, who are we to say that certain people don't have the right to happiness and security?"

"The heart of Christianity is much richer than beliefs. Faith is an attitude of trust; an openness to truth, whatever it may be."

So, I’m thinkin’ about all this and relating it all to my beliefs as a Christian.  Yes, I am a Christian. As I once related in a column some time ago, "I am a child of God" who just happens to be a gay woman. As I mulled all this over in my mind I thought about some of the things I have heard or seen of late that involve members of the Christian faith.

• I heard a Catholic bishop say, “Heaven help us if gay marriage is approved.”

• I watched the evening news in horror as Christians lined the streets in protest bearing signs and posters that said horrible un-Christian-like things at the funeral of an American soldier who gave his life for his country. The chants include rants that state that this death is God’s punishment for homosexuality.  This act has been repeated on several occasions.

• Christian people show up in Trenton to protest the passing of a marriage equality law and many of the accusations shouted at those in favor are cruel and repulsive. Not really ‘Christian behavior’.

• I have witnessed or been the recipient of dubious behavior on the part of many Christians who condemn me because of who I am.

Well, you know what?  I’m pissed. I’m good and pissed. These people who call themselves Christians MAKE LESS’ OF MY CHRISTIAN FAITH. And you want to know how? You want examples? Just look up above.

Hypocrisy runs rampant.

C.M. McLoughlin, a writer and editor from New Jersey and New York, can be reached at mcloughlin43@gmail.com.

Scott Mcgowan January 29, 2012 at 07:38 PM
Marriage licenses are issued by the state, not the church. No religion is necessary for a marriage to be legal or recognized. The religious don't like it but it's fact just the same.
John Roberts January 29, 2012 at 07:54 PM
scott humans by nature are religious. humans make the laws for other humans. you can no more seperate humans from religion than you can seperate them from breathing. i cannot tell you the number of avowed athiests who have used bible says arguments to support their position.
John Roberts January 29, 2012 at 07:57 PM
its not about whether religion influences the law but what religion is influencing it..
Scott Mcgowan January 30, 2012 at 02:32 AM
Humans by nature are religious? Not even close, religion is all indoctrination into believing what they are told to believe . I do just fine without religious belief in my life as do MANY that I know. No religion is necessary to be a good citizen or person. You did not dispute the FACT that, NO religion is necessary for a marriage to be legal or recognized. A marriage does not have to be honured by God to be valid. I understand you don't like this fact but it is true nonetheless.
Dave January 31, 2012 at 07:34 AM
It all boils down to: Who would Jesus hate?

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